2018年雅思写作推送第230篇：学生小作文精批范例：美国人吃快餐频率变化剑桥1271页动
2018年雅思写作推送第230篇：学生小作文精批范例：美国人吃快餐频率变化（剑桥1271页动态柱图） 知乎首发于关注专栏
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剑12 T7
The chart presents information about people’s（American） frequency of eating at fast food restaurants in the USA这个可以去掉，如果前面写人的话，这个也要改一下，in America over a period of one decadeover the period of one decade from 2003,要加起始时间的，否则不知道从哪里开始.
最好分下类，这个图可以分成四类：
Based on the analysis, all the items can be classified into four categories.
It is clear that it had a fluction of people ate in fast food restaurants once a week in 2003, 2006 and 2013这个不能叫波动，只能说先上后下，when it comes to people who ate fast food on a daily basisonce or several time a week. The proportion of it in 2003 is 31%, rising to 33% in 2006 but declined significantly to around 27%the percentage experienced an upward movement until 2006, and then dropped more dramatically during the remaining time, 数据用括号带出来. The figure for people who ate several times a week showed a same pattern, climbing by 3% during the first three year period, but falling by 4% in the following 3 years.（这个可以和上面的一起写掉了，这里就不需要了）
The frequency of people who ate fast food once or twice a month saw a different trend. People ate with this frequency in 2003 and 2013 are more than people in 2006, at 30% and 33% respectively（However, the situation of eating once or twice a month witnessed an opposite tendency to the items mentioned above,直接带数据就好了，这样比较简练，你写的重复性很大，比较啰嗦）. The percentage of those who ate every day and never saw a decline during the first three year（years） and maintained the figuredemonstrated no change from 2006 to 2013over the rest of the whole period.
你好像还少写了一个项目的，就是一年去几次的
Overall, most people in the USA ate fast food once a week or once or twice a month and fewer people ate this every day during a decade from 2003 to 2013（during the given time）.
你的文章尽量要简练，避免重复，否则分数上不来的。5.5分
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2018年雅思写作推送第230篇：学生小作文精批范例：美国人吃快餐频率变化剑桥1271页动态柱图