1996年考研英语写作题型的分析和范文举例—Good Health
写作要求：
Directions:
[A] Title: GOOD HEALTH
[B] Time limit: 40 minutes
[C] Word limit: 120-150 words (not including the given opening sentence)
[D] Your composition should be based on the OUTLINE below and should start with the given opening sentence: “The desire for good health is universal.”
[E] Your composition should be written neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (15 points) OUTLINE:
1. Importance of good health
2. Ways to keep fit
3. My own practices
审题与谋篇
本文命题形式为提纲式控制性写作，提纲有三点要求：健康的重要性；保持健康身体的方法；我自己的实践。并给出了起始句The desire for good health is universal。
文章内容以健康为中心，而且从提纲也可看出，本文首段重在议论，后两段重在说明，整体为议论和说明相结合。根据提纲所示，本文分三段展开。第一段，突出健康的重要性。第二段，说明保持身体健康的途径，可用列举的方法进行说明，必要时稍加展开。第三段，描述自己的切身经历。但应注意，第三段的自身做法应呼应第二段的举例，这样文章结构会比较严谨。
参考范文
GOOD HEALTH
The desire for good health is universal. Wherever you are and whatever you do，staying healthy precedes a successful career and a happy life. People with good health can do work with full energy and confidence and their progress in turn contributes to their health and happiness.
On the contrary, a sick one usually lacks the vigor and interest to fulfill his or her role in life, which deprives him or her of many opportunities to become successful and happy.
Realizing the importance of good health is far from being enough. We must do something effective to keep fit. The best place to begin is at the dinner table. Eating less junk food and having a balanced diet is the first step for most people. The next step is to exercise regularly.
Vigorous exercise can benefit not only the muscles but also the organs. Last but not the least, don’t damage the body with drugs，including cigarettes and too much alcohol.
As far as I am is concerned，I am neither indulged in food nor in such harmful substances as cigarettes or alcohol. Moreover, doing exercises is part of my routine life. Therefore, I am in good shape and always energetic.
范文点评
文章结构：
从结构上看，该范文按照提纲要求，分为三段论述。第一段采用了先总后分的写作方法，段首为题目中给出的主题句，接下来用正反对比的写法进行论证，使人印象深刻。第二段段首也是主题句，并用The best place to begin、The next step、和Last but not the least分别引导对保持身体健康提出的三点建议，段落内部层次分明。第三段采用先分后总的写作方法，呼应上段的建议，谈了自己的实际情况，并在段尾进行了总结。
语言亮点：
1. universal：普遍的。例如：It is a universally accepted idea that …（…是一个普遍接受的观点）。
2. precede：在…之前。可代替的表达有：is the basis of或is the foundation of。
3. in turn：反过来。类似用法的词还有consequently（因而）。
4. On the contrary：“与此相反”，类似表示对照的短语有：unlike, in contrast, whereas, rather than, conversely, instead, by contrast等。
5. deprive sb. of sth.：剥夺某人某物（或某种权利）。例如：Many children are deprived of their rights to receive education because of poverty.（很多孩子由于贫穷而被剥夺了受教育的权利）。
6. is far from：原不…，远非…。例如：The present situation is far from being satisfying.（目前的情况远非令人满意）。
7. junk food：“垃圾食品”（指一些没有营养的食物）。考生注意收集有关食物的词汇，如：take out（外卖）, fast food（快餐）
8. a balanced diet：一个均衡的饮食。
9. Last but not the least：最后一点，但并不是最不重要的一点。
10. As far as I am is concerned：“至于我自己”，as far as … be concerned谈到…，至于…。用于提起话题。
11. indulge：be indulged in …沉湎于…。
12. routine life：日常生活。routine为regular的近义词。
写作误区
篇章结构误区：
考生需要避免的第一个写作误区是跑题。本题在第三段中，跑题现象较为明显，本段要求考生谈谈自己的做法，但有的考生对practices产生误解，把它当作“实践（与理论相对应）”，而写成“实践是很重要的”或“实践是检验真理的唯一标准”，结果跑题了。还有的考生在谋篇上不够周全，将第一段写得过于庞大，而末段又过于简短，造成文章整体比例失调，头重脚轻，因此丢分。也有的同学将第二段写得过于详尽，举例过细，重在描写刻画，而非说明，也是误解本题初衷的表现。
语言表达错误：
①词义冗余：
In my opinion, I think a good diet is the most important thing. (In my opinion / I think a good diet is the most important thing.)
②词义错误：
Practice is very important to health. (Exercise is very important to health.)
③句子结构混乱：
So careful the health, not just think medicine can care for all the illness.（So pay attention to your health, and do not just think medicine can cure all the illness.）
④累赘：
Eating no food shouldn’t be considered as the only way to solve the problem of keeping health.（Eating little is not the only way to keep health.）
⑤句子结构不平行：
We should try our best to keep healthy by taking exercises and don’t eat too much or too little.（We should try our best to keep healthy by taking exercises and having a balanced diet.）
⑥不间断句子：
People’s living standard improved, more and more people began to worry about their health. （As people’s living standard improved, more and more people began to care about their health.）
⑦残句：
I think, to have both physical and mental health to succeed in the competitive society.（Both physical and mental health are the key to success in the competitive society.）